Jul 17, 2011

 
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FML



My week was fairly boring. You know, just normal everyday stuff, write code, cook food, swim, do laundry. But then, I don't know, maybe it was the full moon, Friday got exciting. I wake up, feed the beasts, make my latte, open my laptop, spool up my digital lifestyle, OMFG THE CRANDALL GOT ARRESTED.

So, ladies, tell me: what does your The Husband do in the middle of the night? Snore? Steal the covers? Snuggle? You poor things, how boring your lives must be. Mine heads out to roam the "neighborhood" (translation: all of greater PHX/Tempe) for "15 minutes" (translation: hours) to partake in ██████████ (<-- redacted), which may be considered an art form to you and me, but nonetheless got him charged with two misdemeanor counts of juvenile delinquency and general fuckwadary.

Don't be jealous, bitches.

He didn't get hauled off to jail, and I didn't have to bail his ass out, so clearly this was not, like, a Louboutin or Manolo level offense. But I did hit the mall with my BFF Anne the next day for some retail therapy, and came home with some beautiful shoes. And by some I mean four pair. And some other stuff. Something from Chanel. A quick trip to VS. Did you know that you can buy bras now that have the boobs already built in? You know what, let's save that one for another post...

Anyway, I get my shoes, I get my boobs Chanel, I go home. And do you know what that sweet, sweet man, that ever so loving man, that I am the center of his universe man, did for me?

He let his partner in crime wheel a Super Fucking Mario Fucking Brothers into my dining room.

FML.
 
 
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3 comments:

 
 
ungeheier
Jul 18, 2011
I was waiting to see a tweet from you at some point: "At the Mesa PD. Bailing out teh crandall".

Love the post. ;)
 
ellerandall
Jul 18, 2011
I think we're over that for now.

I think.

(for now).
 
ungeheier
Jul 19, 2011
Gotta see how much the bill is first. ;)
 
 

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